Mondays are always a crazy day in our house, as I am sure that it is a crazy day in other homes. Many are on the same parallels with the going back to work/school/millions of things to get done/meetings, etc… However Mondays here mean that my Mom will be feeling worse than usual. Monday, provided that her counts are high enough, is chemo day. We have tried multiple chemotherapies for my Mom, and each one carries different side effects. Gemzar, the current chemo causes nausea, joint pain, vomiting, loss of appetite, etc…
After she wakes up around 11am, we usually have some time to talk before she has to get herself going to get ready for her appointment in the afternoon. Occasionally, the baby and I take her over and visit with her while the staff pumps her full of poison. Poison that can help her. Maybe.
She laughs in her chair as she watches Jack say “Wow” to her in her chair. Other patients stop to tell her how cute her grandson is and she replies with “he’s delicious!” I just want to bottle up the happiness that I have in these moments. She always says how Jack has been the greatest gift she could have ever received (other than my sisters and I) but in these moments, I truly believe it. The sickness, pain and yellowness of her skin seem to disappear as she holds him and gives him his bottle. Her smile stretches from ear to ear when he looks at her.
Every Sunday at mass, we pray for a miracle. A miracle to save my Mom’s life. A miracle to keep her here on Earth with us and to keep her strong and fighting. Yet, it took me months to see that the Miracle is Jack. Jack has been her reason to keep going and keep fighting. Thank you God for giving us this miracle and joy in our lives. Even he doesn’t know how much he means to this family.