Since starting the new job two and a half weeks ago, everything seems to be different.
For the first two weeks, Jack seemed to be angry with me. Angry for leaving him, refusing to let me hold him, put him to bed or anything. Tears were ever-present around me and he made his point clear. He does not like it when Mommy goes away.
Those first two weeks at daycare were very tough for Jack. He wasn’t sleeping very long for naps and the change in people and scenery took him a little bit to get used to.
During this third week, we have seen him turn a corner. He wants his Mommy, just like he always did. There are not any tears or meltdowns on the sidewalk as we walk into daycare, and he is napping now for 2+ hours! Thank goodness!
I find myself still adjusting to not spending every minute of every day with Jack, and my obvious day-to-day duties have changed significantly. However, I feel that being a working Mom at this job and with Jack being 18 months old is a whole new ballgame as opposed to when I was working full time when he was 3 months-8 months old. When he was a baby, he just knew that he was being held and didn’t care who was doing it. Sleep was a constant of most days and he never noticed whether or not I was feeding him, or if it was someone else. Now that Jack is more aware of his surroundings and who he wants to be with, it is more difficult to leave him or explain where I am going. Conceptual thinking is still a few years away, but it is still tough saying goodbye during the week.
I look forward to the weekends with my family. That is our time, even more than it was before. Although we get daily updates about Jack’s day at school from what he ate, what he played with, what crafts he did, etc…, it isn’t the same thing as being there and playing with him and experiencing the same things with him.
And it has to be said that I asbolutely LOVE my new job so far. The people are great, the company is great and the work that I do is exactly what I wanted. To me, this new position is not just a job. This is going to be my career. I want to retire from this company someday.
The extra salary is wonderful and I like that I can help provide financially for my family and give my children vacations at the beach, summer camps, and other things that they may want, but I do miss my Jack for those 8 hours.
I haven’t found a whole balance yet for my new stage of being a working Mom. We have been getting into a schedule as far as when we get up, when we leave, but not much of a schedule for time together following dinner. We know we have to squeeze a bath in there somewhere before bed, and depending on the time, we do what we can do to bond as a family.
We will continue to progress as a family in our time together, and other things will fall into place.