Praying for Peace

This past week, my mother’s condition has gone significantly downhill, and according to her oncologist, we don’t have a lot of time left.  She sleeps most of the time, has no appetite, is too weak to stand or walk and doesn’t always make sense when she talks to us, and is just in overall poor health.

The time has come to say goodbye to my mother, which is breaking my heart into a million pieces.  We have been preparing for this for about 3 years, but now that the time has come, I don’t want to let her go.  As my father has passed away almost 20 years ago, losing my mother will be an enormously felt loss in our family.  My mother has been the backbone for our family.  She has acted as both parents, walked me down the aisle when I got married, was the first family member, other than Chris, to hold Jack when he was born.  She has been there for everything and losing her can only be compared to losing an arm.  You will always know and remember that your arm is no longer there, but you will eventually learn to live without it.  There is no replacement, just the fond memories that you had with it.

As my mother has fought for many years against this terrible disease, it is now time for her to stop fighting and be at peace with herself, her family and God.

She is not in pain and occasionally opens her eyes long enough for Jack to give her a kiss and show her a truck before she goes back to sleep.  I spent last evening and the evening before just holding her hand and talking to her and enjoying the moments that she is still with us.

Between bouts of tears and crying, I just pray for peace.  It’s okay my brave Mommy, you have fought a long and courageous battle and it is alright to let go.  You will always be with us.  I love you, now and forever.

Please pray for my family during this difficult time.

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